The best part of Christmas isn’t under the tree—it’s around it.

Planning a People-Focused Christmas Planning for Connection, Not Perfection

With the rising cost of basic necessities, groceries and food costs. we are all concerned about how to stretch our dollars. One of the biggest things that always Stands out in my mind is I have plenty of friends and family who always had big salaries and big paychecks, Me not so much. I was a flight attendant for 25 years. Flight attendants never made great money however we had a great life style of seeing different parts of the world.

It’s really time to look at others. the state of the world, the homeless and the people who are struggling.
When we go out and buy for a plethora of people on our lists, it actually puts stress on the gift receiver. People will often feel they need to match the gift value or reciprocate similarly when their pocket books simply don’t allow. Thats a huge amount of pressure.

If we changed our thinking to less. More about the people than the item, just think about how much joy we can give.

I know when one of my team brings me back a small cookie or a bar of soap from their travels, I am delighted. it wasnt about the money it was about the thought.

Christmas can feel like a whirlwind of glitter, garland, and gift receipts. Every year, we tell ourselves we’ll slow down, savor the season, and focus on what really matters… and then December hits like a snowplow.

But what if this year could be different?

What if, instead of reacting to the chaos, we planned for connection?

Let’s take a look at the four holiday traps we all fall into and how to flip the script to make this season more joyful, less stressful, and way more meaningful.

The Spending Trap: More Joy, Less Debt

We’ve all been there!! Caught in the glittery grip of holiday sales, buying gifts we can’t afford just because everyone else is doing it. Credit cards get maxed out, and we tell ourselves we’ll “figure it out later.” we can make payments. No that is not fun. And not that is not a way to get ahead.

But here’s the truth: the best gifts aren’t bought, they’re felt.

• Host a cookie-decorating night with friends.

• Write heartfelt letters instead of buying trinkets.

• Plan a “no-gift” brunch where the only thing exchanged is laughter.

The Gift Trap: Perfect Is Overrated

Scrambling to find the perfect present for everyone on your list? That is my biggest stress . I never know what to buy. And then when I do buy something It feels not good enough, or I worry if they will like it. That’s a recipe for stress, not joy. It’s a horrible feeling.

Let’s ditch the pressure and embrace presence over presents.

• Give experiences: movie nights, game tournaments, or a walk through twinkling lights.

• Create a opportunity to create memories and fill your photo book filled with shared moments.

• Gift your time such as babysitting, helping with errands, or just being there is invaluable.

The Time Trap: Say Yes to What Matters

Every invitation, every tradition, every event—saying yes to all of it can leave you drained and disconnected from the moments that actually matter.

This year, give yourself permission to say no.

• Choose a few meaningful gatherings and skip the rest.

• Block out time for quiet mornings, cozy evenings, and spontaneous fun.

• Make space for the people who fill your cup, not empty it. We know there are lots of people who will empty our cups if we let them.

The Decor Trap: Delight Over Duty

Dragging out every box of decorations because “that’s what we’ve always done”? Exhausting. Decorating should be joyful, not a a tonne of work and a burden. Often I remember speaking with friends who are stressed out, they ran out of time and are trying to decorate the tree last minute for their kids.

Let’s slow it down. Make an evening of it and decorate the tree early. If that is all you do that is a win to be celebrated.

Let’s simplify and decorate with intention.

• Pick a few favorite pieces that make you smile.

• Decorate the spaces you actually use.

• Turn decorating into a shared experience with friends, family, hot cocoa, music, and laughter.

Plan for Connection, Not Perfection

When we stop reacting to expectations and start planning for joy, everything changes. Christmas becomes less about the hustle and more about the the great people in our lives. Less about the spending and more about the creating the memories

let’s make a plan—not for the perfect holiday, but for a meaningful one.

Because the best part of Christmas isn’t under the tree—it’s around it.

When Having More Means Doing More: The Hidden Burden of Excess

In a world that often equates success with accumulation-more money, more possessions, more achievements-it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that having more is always better. Yet, for some people, this mindset leads to a kind of denial about how much they actually have. They keep acquiring, convinced that the next purchase or achievement will bring happiness, fulfillment, or status. But the truth is often the opposite: more stuff means more work, more stress, and more effort just to maintain what’s already there.

I see this with some clients. Some think that buying more and more toys for kids is what they want but the fact is the kids really want time with you.. the parent .. not the stuff.
When Kids have too much there is overwhelm. Just like when a parent is overwhelmed.. Kids feel it even. more so. I may not be a trained physiologist but I know people and I know stuff. I know the behaviour.

Denial isn’t just about ignoring problems; it can also be about ignoring abundance. Some individuals live in a state of constant wanting, unable to acknowledge the fullness of their current lives. They might say, “I don’t have enough,” even when surrounded by possessions, opportunities, or resources that many would envy. This denial comes from societal pressures, personal insecurities, or the addictive nature of consumerism. Buy, spend and buy.

More Stuff Feels Like a burden and it is.. More work, more organizing, more resources, most important , more time and energy. A valuable resource you just cant get back.

At first glance, many believe that acquiring more seems like a path to comfort and convenience. But every new possession or responsibility adds layers to your life that require time, energy, and money: More maintenance, more organizing, more stress, more to upkeep.

How to Realize That More Isn’t Always Better!!

There are practical steps to help shift perspective. I always tell my clients to read bloggers like Josh Becker, Known as the Minimalist. Don’t let that word “Minimalism” scare you. Its. not about owning nothing its about simplifying, knowing what is valuable to you. Not owning in excess.

We learn to prioritize experiences over things, reflect on usefulness over wastefulness. Practice gratitude and simplify. You will be amazed at how your life shifts.

When you stop denying how much you have and start embracing simplicity, you open the door to freedom. Freedom from the constant chase, freedom from the mental clutter, and freedom to focus on what truly matters-relationships, passions, and peace of mind.

With less stuff you have More time, more energy, and more space to live fully. So next time you feel the urge to add “just one more thing,” pause and ask yourself-will this truly enrich my life, or just add to the work of maintaining it?

True wealth isn’t measured by how much you own, but by how much you can enjoy life without feeling overwhelmed. Embrace the power of less, and discover the joy of living with intention.

I love my friends who live in Hawaii. They are not living in mansions. They are not Uber wealthy ( or they could be and I would never know it) nor do they own huge amounts of stuff. They are out there everyday living life, getting together and the appreciation and the love they share and hold for each other warms my heart every day.

I wish everyone could meet my Hawaii friends and live this way. To My friends in Hawaii, I love you miss you and thank you for showing me friendship, joy and love.